[Clutching my cure]

She stared blankly at the half-eaten rabbit, its taste sour on her tongue. The sight disgusted her, her stomach twisting as if it were getting ready to vomit, and she turned her jade-green eyes instead to look toward the stars starting to appear.

With shimmers and twinkles, the cats of StarClan emerged from the vast, velvet curtain of darkness, lighting the way as they did during the Great Move. She vaguely wondered which was Foreststar, then idly thought that he must be at the Moon Pinnacle with their son Bramblepaw that night.

Getting to her paws, Mossmask dully buried the rest of the rabbit so it would not transform into crow-food, her paws working slowly but surely without any hint of purpose. The warrior's long fur wasn't as clean as she normally kept it, with little bits and clumps of matted hair here and there, and she was certainly thinner, both from the move and from grief. Silently, she trotted toward the apprentice den, poking her head in to check on the young ones.

She swore her heart began to beat faster as she saw Flowerpaw and Cuckoopaw curled up against each other. Memories hurled themselves at Mossmask, reminding her of a younger version of herself and Foreststar together, their two daughters looking so similar to the warrior and her former mate.

[I tightly lock the door]

Mossmask backed up rapidly, tears seemingly wanting to form in her ears, but she had none left. Instead, she took a few deep, calming breaths as she padded over toward the nursery, looking in on Torturedsoul and her soon-to-be-apprenticed kits, as well as Arctickit and Pumpkinkit.

It didn't help. Mossmask saw the small cats, her days in the nursery with Foreststar's and her kits haunting her like ghosts. The warrior returned to the middle of the camp, laying down on the spot that still held a faint whiff of Foreststar's body from a sun ago.

"I can't do this..." Her whisper was stolen away by the wind, making her shiver, and her mind suddenly wondered if Bramblepaw, Sprintpaw, and Cherubimpaw were warm enough during their journey to the Moon Pinnacle.

At the thought of her sons, of what Foreststar had told Mossmask about Bramblepaw's new position in the clan, the warrior swore that she heard her mate's voice: You have to be there for them...

She had to do her best to stop thinking about Foreststar. She would never forget about her beloved, no, but while he was watching over them from StarClan, she was needed to watch over them on the earth. He was there spiritually, while she would have to be there physically.

Mossmask sat up slowly, her eyes growing soft as she watched the entrance of the camp, waiting for her son Bramblepaw to come back home as Bramblestar.

[I try to catch my breath again]

[I hurt much more]

The warrior's ears flicked gently as they heard another cat begin to approach her. The scent on the wind told Mossmask that the cat was Hunterstealth, Sprintpaw's biological father. As he sat next to her, she turned and gave him a small, weary smile.

"Hello," she greeted. "What brings you out here at this time?"

When he asked about Bramblestar, she chuckled slightly, her heart swelling with the knowledge that at least some of her clanmates accepted her son as the next leader. "It's going to take me a while to get used to calling him that," she murmured. "To answer your question, though, no, there hasn't been a sign of the three. But it's still a bit early and they're young; they'll be back soon enough."

[Than anytime before]

Hunterstealth leaned against her and she was grateful to her friend, thankful for his concern. "Thank you," she whispered in response to his apology. With a slight shimmer in her eyes, Mossmask locked gazes with him and, thinking of Tawnypelt, said, "Many have passed on in the same way... But they're all up there, probably laughing at us for being so emotional. My mother used to always say that, anyway. I had lost my mentor early and, of course, was disheartened. Flowerbloom told me to mourn for a night and then move on. StarClanners are up there to watch over us, and she said they wouldn't want our lives to be put on hold for their sakes. They would want to see us be happy to still feel the earth beneath our paws.

"I believe I'm finally beginning to understand that now..."

She sighed heavily and was quiet for a few moments. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give a lecture or anything," she said with a sheepish smile. Noticing Hunterstealth smiling at his thoughts, she said, "What are you thinking about, may I ask...?"

[I have no options left again]

[You gave up the fight, you left me behind]

"I bet he'll be thrilled to hunt with you as a fellow warrior," Mossmask said. "He's grown up quite a bit in these past few moons. I think warrior names are one of the first things Bramblepa-- Bramblestar will take care of."

With a crooked smile, she suddenly asked, "Has Sprintpaw said anything about any she-cats that may be on his mind? My kits won't tell me anything like that!"

[All that's done's forgiven]

Her eyes gazed up at the stars. "I'm sure Tawnysongs is happy for you and Cardinalvoice. I certainly am." She turned back to the tom, her gaze serious. "Although, if you hurt my former apprentice, I'll hurt you, understand?" A small, semi-joking smile shone through her words.

[You'll always be mine, I know deep inside]

The smile turned serene to match her half-closed eyes when Hunterstealth told her that she could always talk to him. "Thank you," she said. "I may take you up on that..."

Returning her eyes to the stars, Mossmask's mind wandered, suddenly curious if she would find another love like her friend beside her had. She couldn't imagine it very well at all; Foreststar had always been the one for her.

[All that's done's forgiven]

[I watched the clouds drifting away]

"Maybe you can," Mossmask said lightly to Hunterstealth's claim that he could take her on, "and maybe you can't. You never know... Hopefully we will never find out which of us can beat the other, right?"

At his next words, she cast a small glance at him. "I hope no one truly plans to hurt another like that... How low that would be... It's a shame how some cats don't consider love as sacred as it should be."

Mossmask barely flinched at the night's sounds, staying in her sitting position firmly, her eyes never wavering from the entrance. When Hunterstealth jumped, however, she said, "There are so many new sounds we had to get used to, weren't there? I hope they will be home soon... I'm certain the boys are safe. StarClan wouldn't take any more of my family away from me."

[Still the sun can't warm my face]

[The curse of awareness]

Mossmask nodded to Hunterstealth's words about cats cheating on one another, idly wondering how their conversation turned to this topic. "I mean, I know some she-cats mother litters from different fathers. That's why we're not required to tell who the father is," she said. "As long as the participating cats don't think that they are the 'one and only,' I suppose it's okay... It's their business after all.

"Perhaps we cannot imagine cheating because you and I found true love in our mates," she said. "Others may have kits just to help out the clan."

Mossmask gave a small shrug at her friend's words about the new territory not being like home. "It is a bit difficult to think of here as home," she agreed. "I guess we have to try, though, otherwise this land will never feel like home.

"The other land is gone," she said, a sense of finality in her voice. "This has to be our home, now."

[There's no peace of mind]

Hunterstealth jumped when Mythflight showed up. He shook his fur, trying to act calm as he meowed, "Hey, Mythflight." He smiled at her, smoothing his fur at the same time, and listened to her. "You're right. This is our home. It just doesn't feel like it, especially after we lost our leader." He said the last part softly, to be sensitive towards Mossmask. After a while of silence, he spoke. "I'm worried about Sprintpaw." He confessed. "Do you think he'll still like me, after he becomes a warrior?" He dropped his head, worry making his feel seasons older. "I mean, he'll have all his friends, would he want to hang out with his father?" Hunterstealth looked at the two she-cats, hoping they would tell him the truth, and not try to sugarcoat it like he knew some cats would.