breaking.the[OPEN];;habit

[Mossmask]

[Clutching my cure]

She stared blankly at the half-eaten rabbit, its taste sour on her tongue. The sight disgusted her, her stomach twisting as if it were getting ready to vomit, and she turned her jade-green eyes instead to look toward the stars starting to appear.

With shimmers and twinkles, the cats of StarClan emerged from the vast, velvet curtain of darkness, lighting the way as they did during the Great Move. She vaguely wondered which was Foreststar, then idly thought that he must be at the Moon Pinnacle with their son Bramblepaw that night.

Getting to her paws, Mossmask dully buried the rest of the rabbit so it would not transform into crow-food, her paws working slowly but surely without any hint of purpose. The warrior's long fur wasn't as clean as she normally kept it, with little bits and clumps of matted hair here and there, and she was certainly thinner, both from the move and from grief. Silently, she trotted toward the apprentice den, poking her head in to check on the young ones.

She swore her heart began to beat faster as she saw Flowerpaw and Cuckoopaw curled up against each other. Memories hurled themselves at Mossmask, reminding her of a younger version of herself and Foreststar together, their two daughters looking so similar to the warrior and her former mate.



Mossmask backed up rapidly, tears seemingly wanting to form in her ears, but she had none left. Instead, she took a few deep, calming breaths as she padded over toward the nursery, looking in on Torturedsoul and her soon-to-be-apprenticed kits, as well as Arctickit and Pumpkinkit.

It didn't help. Mossmask saw the small cats, her days in the nursery with Foreststar's and her kits haunting her like ghosts. The warrior returned to the middle of the camp, laying down on the spot that still held a faint whiff of Foreststar's body from a sun ago.

"I can't do this..." Her whisper was stolen away by the wind, making her shiver, and her mind suddenly wondered if Bramblepaw, Sprintpaw, and Cherubimpaw were warm enough during their journey to the Moon Pinnacle.

At the thought of her sons, of what Foreststar had told Mossmask about Bramblepaw's new position in the clan, the warrior swore that she heard her mate's voice: You have to be there for them...

She had to do her best to stop thinking about Foreststar. She would never forget about her beloved, no, but while he was watching over them from StarClan, she was needed to watch over them on the earth. He was there spiritually, while she would have to be there physically.

Mossmask sat up slowly, her eyes growing soft as she watched the entrance of the camp, waiting for her son Bramblepaw to come back home as Bramblestar.

"Breaking the Habit," (c) Linkin Park[/i]

[x-Ginger-x]

Hunterstealth padded out of the warriors' den, unable to sleep. His tawny pelt was ruffled with bits of his nest, caused by a lot of tossing and turning. He sniffed the air, but still hadn't caught the smell of Bramblepaw - star. He shook his head. It seemed unfair that Starclan claimed the life of a leader too young to die.

When he turned his head around the other way, he caught sight of a familiar pelt, and padded towards it. "Hey Mossmask." He meowed as he reached her. "Still no sign of Bramblestar?" He asked, his worries for his own son combined with the curiosity. When he sat down beside her, he noticed she looked sad. "Hey.." He whispered gently, seeing her face. "I'm sorry about Foreststar. He was too young to die." He pressed himself against his friend's side, and watched the entrance with her.

Moments passed, and Hunterstealth still did not see them. He began to worry. But he shook himself and told himself that his kit was fine. He was ready to be a warrior, and Hunterstealth knew he could take care of himself. When he's a warrior, I'll take him hunting, just him and me. He smiled at the thought, knowing that Sprintpaw would be excited to come hunting with him. He relaxed a little, and watched Mossmask to make sure his friend was okay.

[Mossmask]

The warrior's ears flicked gently as they heard another cat begin to approach her. The scent on the wind told Mossmask that the cat was Hunterstealth, Sprintpaw's biological father. As he sat next to her, she turned and gave him a small, weary smile.

"Hello," she greeted. "What brings you out here at this time?"

When he asked about Bramblestar, she chuckled slightly, her heart swelling with the knowledge that at least some of her clanmates accepted her son as the next leader. "It's going to take me a while to get used to calling him that," she murmured. "To answer your question, though, no, there hasn't been a sign of the three. But it's still a bit early and they're young; they'll be back soon enough."

[Than anytime before]

Hunterstealth leaned against her and she was grateful to her friend, thankful for his concern. "Thank you," she whispered in response to his apology. With a slight shimmer in her eyes, Mossmask locked gazes with him and, thinking of Tawnypelt, said, "Many have passed on in the same way... But they're all up there, probably laughing at us for being so emotional. My mother used to always say that, anyway. I had lost my mentor early and, of course, was disheartened. Flowerbloom told me to mourn for a night and then move on. StarClanners are up there to watch over us, and she said they wouldn't want our lives to be put on hold for their sakes. They would want to see us be happy to still feel the earth beneath our paws.

"I believe I'm finally beginning to understand that now..."

She sighed heavily and was quiet for a few moments. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give a lecture or anything," she said with a sheepish smile. Noticing Hunterstealth smiling at his thoughts, she said, "What are you thinking about, may I ask...?"

"Breaking the Habits," still (c) to Linkin Park

[x-Ginger-x]

Hunterstealth listened to Mossmask's words and nodded. "I think I am too." He replied. He leaned over and licked his shoulder. A bit of moss was sticking off of it, and he had just noticed. He grinned at her. "Don't mention it. I love being lectured." He joked. When he heard her question about what he was thinking about, he thought he should answer.

"I was thinking about when Sprintpaw becomes a warrior. It's going to be weird for me to be sharing a den with him, but I know it'll be great. I'm going to take him hunting when he becomes a warrior, which shouldn't be too long from now.

"I was also thinking about Tawnysongs. I know she would love to be here, watching Sprintpaw grow up. But I know she's watching over us, and I know she is happy, where she is.

"And I also have Cardinalvoice now. I'll never forget Tawnysongs, but she wants me to be happy, and I am." He smiled at Mossmask. "If you ever get sad about Foreststar, you can talk to me. I know how it feels, losing someone you thought you'd be spending your entire life with." He suddenly went serious.

[Mossmask]

[You gave up the fight, you left me behind]

"I bet he'll be thrilled to hunt with you as a fellow warrior," Mossmask said. "He's grown up quite a bit in these past few moons. I think warrior names are one of the first things Bramblepa-- Bramblestar will take care of."

With a crooked smile, she suddenly asked, "Has Sprintpaw said anything about any she-cats that may be on his mind? My kits won't tell me anything like that!"

[All that's done's forgiven]

Her eyes gazed up at the stars. "I'm sure Tawnysongs is happy for you and Cardinalvoice. I certainly am." She turned back to the tom, her gaze serious. "Although, if you hurt my former apprentice, I'll hurt you, understand?" A small, semi-joking smile shone through her words.

[You'll always be mine, I know deep inside]

The smile turned serene to match her half-closed eyes when Hunterstealth told her that she could always talk to him. "Thank you," she said. "I may take you up on that..."

Returning her eyes to the stars, Mossmask's mind wandered, suddenly curious if she would find another love like her friend beside her had. She couldn't imagine it very well at all; Foreststar had always been the one for her.

[All that's done's forgiven]

"Forgiven," (c) Within Temptation[/i]

[x-Ginger-x]

Hunterstealth turned his head to Mossmask. "He didn't say anything to me, either." He grinned. The tom turned his head back to the entrance, feeling edgy as he waited. He jumped at Mossmask's words. "Don't worry, I'll be able to fight you off." He bared his teeth at her jokingly. "No, don't worry, I don't plan to hurt Cardinalvoice. I really love her, and we get along so well." He smiled.

They really should be back soon, Thought Hunterstealth, as he scuffed the ground with his forepaw. "I hope you will, because I know how it feels." He smiled at her, before turning his head back to the entrance, and waiting. Every rustle he heard, he jumped, and whipped his head in that direction. Shaking himself, he told himself to stop being so jumpy.

[Mossmask]

"Maybe you can," Mossmask said lightly to Hunterstealth's claim that he could take her on, "and maybe you can't. You never know... Hopefully we will never find out which of us can beat the other, right?"

At his next words, she cast a small glance at him. "I hope no one truly plans to hurt another like that... How low that would be... It's a shame how some cats don't consider love as sacred as it should be."

Mossmask barely flinched at the night's sounds, staying in her sitting position firmly, her eyes never wavering from the entrance. When Hunterstealth jumped, however, she said, "There are so many new sounds we had to get used to, weren't there? I hope they will be home soon... I'm certain the boys are safe. StarClan wouldn't take any more of my family away from me."

[/b]

[Still the sun can't warm my face][/blockquote]

"Forgiven," (c) Within Temptation[/i]

[x-Ginger-x]

Hunterstealth grinned at Mossmask, but nodded seriously. "I know. I can't ever imagine losing her." He dropped his eyes to look at the ground for a moment, before looking over at Mossmask. "It is sad. I've watched cats cheat on eachother, and it's so heart-breaking to watch. It's like watching a storm come, and when it breaks, it unleashes everything." He shook his head.

He jumped again, and smiled sheepishly at Mossmask. "It's so different. It still doesn't feel like home to me." He confessed. "I wish we were back home. But it's all flooded, I'm sure." He frowned. It was cruel to have a flood hit them in their sacred lands, but he trusted Starclan not to have done that to them. Starclan couldn't even be that cruel, even if they did take his Tawnysongs long before she should've gone.

[Mossmask]

[The curse of awareness]

Mossmask nodded to Hunterstealth's words about cats cheating on one another, idly wondering how their conversation turned to this topic. "I mean, I know some she-cats mother litters from different fathers. That's why we're not required to tell who the father is," she said. "As long as the participating cats don't think that they are the 'one and only,' I suppose it's okay... It's their business after all.

"Perhaps we cannot imagine cheating because you and I found true love in our mates," she said. "Others may have kits just to help out the clan."

[/color]

Mossmask gave a small shrug at her friend's words about the new territory not being like home. "It is a bit difficult to think of here as home," she agreed. "I guess we have to try, though, otherwise this land will never feel like home.

"The other land is gone," she said, a sense of finality in her voice. "This has to be our home, now."

[There's no peace of mind][/blockquote]

"A Dangerous Mind," (c) Within Temptation[/i]

[[Ridge] of [Sapphire] light]

((Hope you don't mind if I bring her in...she hasn't been played in eons...and is itching to get back out...))

[Pure breed, down home, true sweet harmony]

Her legs moved with sluggish speed as they carried her barely over the frozen ground. She tripped once or twice before she fell here and there. Her eyes though, green, and vivacious never left her quarry. The silverish pelt racing away from her moved ever quicker and she ever slower. wake up....wake up....you have to wake up...it's just a dream She knew the words were her own, but she wanted desperately to catch Palesparrow, to tell him one more time of her love. Then she fell again, and her eyes flew open. She looked around the den and shook her head knowing it had been a dream. She heard the muffled sound of voices and roused her old body from the den and made her way outside. She knew who it was before she got close enough to see them. Her senses, hearing and smell were getting stronger, as her sight grew worse and worse. She nodded slightly to MOssmask before laying down beside her. She flicked her ears as the pair continued a conversation before she broke in.

[every crowd we face, every squirrel we chase]
Her mouth opened and she let her voice, though rarely used any more come forth as strong as it had been in her younger days. "This is our new home whether we like it or not. This is where we fell and could go no further, so this is where we claimed as our own." She said without looking up at the stars. she stared at the pair beside her. She was wise, but she wasn't tender, not any more. She couldn't be, it would cause to much pain, to much hurt.

[anytime, anyplace]
It wasn't like she was ancient, she was only 32 moons old. But she had seen ehr loved ones die, and leave her more than any she-cat should have to. She had lost many mates, children and close friends, to many different trials. She was not to proud to admit that she was wrong, but she was to proud to show defeat and pain. She shook her head. Where were these thoughts taking her. She flicked her tail and let it caress the back of MOssmasks fur. She felt mats and sat up slowly. "May I?" She asked before beginning to groom the other female. She worked in mostly silence before she spoke again, "Just because the ones we love aren't visible, doesn't mean they aren't here." She said softly, her mind calling back memories of Sparrowpaw, Palesparrow, and Pebblepelt.

[we're in harmony]

[x-Ginger-x]

Hunterstealth jumped when Mythflight showed up. He shook his fur, trying to act calm as he meowed, "Hey, Mythflight." He smiled at her, smoothing his fur at the same time, and listened to her. "You're right. This is our home. It just doesn't feel like it, especially after we lost our leader." He said the last part softly, to be sensitive towards Mossmask. After a while of silence, he spoke. "I'm worried about Sprintpaw." He confessed. "Do you think he'll still like me, after he becomes a warrior?" He dropped his head, worry making his feel seasons older. "I mean, he'll have all his friends, would he want to hang out with his father?" Hunterstealth looked at the two she-cats, hoping they would tell him the truth, and not try to sugarcoat it like he knew some cats would.

[[Ridge] of [Sapphire] light]

Her ears flicked forward, and she looked at Hunterstealth. Her eyes were dull, but vivid and filled with pain. She continued to groom Mossmask for a while before she turned and spoke, her voice coming across like that of a mother, speaking to her son. "Did your entire personality change when you became a warrior?"[/b] She asked calmly She knew it hadn't she remembered his warrior ceremony. She flicked her tial and looked at Mossmask. "We should not forget those lost, merely because we haven't seen their stars in the sky, nor should we forget them because they haven't made their presence known, more than needed." Her eyes turned to the heavens and she sighed. "Forreststar is up there with our clanmates." She said turning her attention back to Mossmasks fur.

[Mossmask]

[I'll come into your world]

Mossmask flicked an ear as Mythflight appeared, and Mossmask gave the other she-cat a small smile of a greeting. She nodded her thanks to Mythflight when the ginger-pelted female began to groom her.

She chuckled softly at Hunterstealth's question and at Mythflight's response to it. "Mythflight is right. Don't worry, Hunterstealth," Mossmask said. "Sprintpaw idolizes you, and as a warrior, he'll be working closely with you anyway. He's not going to reject you in any way."

[See through your eyes]

The long-haired she-cat allowed silence to wash over the trio comfortably, enjoying the feel of Mythflight's tongue soothing her fur down into a more presentable appearance. Mossmask vaguely thought that, since she was apparently waiting up for Bramblestar and the other two, she should have groomed herself anyway for the new leader.

Mythflight spoke again, speaking of their loved ones watching them from above. Mossmask blinked her jade-green eyes at her, and said, "I know. I believe I said something similar to you when we first found out Foreststar passed onto StarClan."

Mossmask's tone had been neutral and gentle; there was no scathing reply about Mythflight's outburst to Mossmask on that night, no anger or bitterness toward Mythflight's accusations that Mossmask had known nothing about lost loves. There was barely any hint that Mossmask even recalled Mythflight's harsh words from that night.

[I'll try to understand]

No, Mossmask's voice was merely reminding Mythflight, Hunterstealth, and herself of the event. They had all been hurting, all were hurting from these past moons. To have the knowledge of their loved ones watching them from above should settle peace among the broken clan.

"Let's keep on saying that," Mossmask murmured. "I pray that none of our clanmates lose faith in StarClan. We'll just have to keep reminding them, won't we?" She cast a smile in turn to Hunterstealth and Mythflight.

"Do either of you remember how long it took Foreststar to get his nine lives?" she abruptly asked, staring at the entrance to the camp again.

[Before we lose what we have]

"See Who I Am," (c) Within Temptation[/i]

[x-Ginger-x]

Hunterstealth looked from Mossmask to Mythflight before dipping his head to the two senior warriors. "I know. I'm just worried he'll not want to hang around his father." but as he said that,he remembered how much Sprintpaw loved hanging around him. "What am I saying? Of course he will want to hang out with me. Thanks guys." He smiled at them, before continuing. "I don't remember how long it took Foreststar, because I was a kit, but I think they'll be back before dawn." He meowed reassuringly. And if they don't, I'll go find them myself.

[[Ridge] of [Sapphire] light]

Mythflight lifted her head at the sound of the warrior speaking and dipped her head slowly. She remembered the night of forreststar's death. She rememebred how rude she had been, how hurt she had been. She flicked her tail and sighed. She knew there was no bitterness, but that didn't change the shame she felt. She flicked her ears slowly as she listened to the pair speak and she looked at Hunterstealth. She smiled lightly at him and looked over at the fresh kill pile shaking her head wearily. No one had hunted in days, and there was very little prey left on the pile. She looked down at Mossmask and continued to groom her for a moment moving from her back to her shoulders and then back to her hips. "It seems to me that we must continue to tell eachother that...not just the whole clan...but rather ourselves as well." She sighed and looked at Mossmask's eyes, "Somtimes we forget the pain others can be in by only feeling our own." She mewed. That was as close to an apology that this prideful she-cat would come. She turned her attention to Hunterstealth and smiled. "What do you think Bramblestar will give him as a name?" She said and turned to Mossmask. "I don't remember, I was only an apprentice then."[/v] She mewed thinking back to those days...She had been taken under the wing of Forreststar along with Sparrowpaw, Pebblepaw, and Palepaw. She sighed at their memory.