Cross my Heart and [Open] Hope to DIE

[x-Ginger-x]

Midnightdawn's shadow seemed to dance across the medicine den as she reached into her herb den. She was checking to see if she needed any herbs. As she pulled them out, she could already smell the stale scent of them. "Oh no... I need new herbs." Worry seemed to set in. She knew that no one was in any danger right now, but she still didn't want to risk the thought of not having any herbs. She shook her head and padded to the apprentices' den. On her way there, she stretched and welcomed the warm afternoon sun on her back. Letting out a satisfied purr, she continued on. Sticking her head into the apprentices' den, she called out, "Anyone want to help me look for herbs?"

She pulled her head back and sat outside, waiting. While she waited, she cleaned the scraps of herbs out of her fur, and within moments, her pelt was glossy again. She smiled to herself and waited for an apprentice to come join her.

I'll have to have more help than one apprentice! She realized. Trotting quickly to the warriors' den, she stuck her head in there and called out, "Any warriors want to help me with collecting herbs?" She asked. Then she pulled her head out and waited, sitting between the two dens.

[--|Sootie|--]

It's safe to say from here

Chikorypaw was flicking the balls of moss bedding about inside the Appreitce's den, trying o shake any dirt and dust from out o them. It probably looked like she was having a mad fit and trashing the den; or else playing by herself like a kit let out of the nursery. She looked up when Midnightdawn poked her head into the den. She smiled at the clan's medicine cat abd nodded quickly. Sh realied too late what it must look like she was doing, and laughed feeling heat creeping up her face. She placed the moss balls back in their correct places befor stepping out into the chilly sunlight. The black and white apprentice coughed as she breathed the fresh air in. Dusty air always made her wheezy. After she'd finished choking, Chikorypaw turned to Midnightdawn to ask her about the herbs she needed to find; her voice was hoarse and throat tight and constricted. 'Is there anything in aprticular we're going to find, or just stocking up on everything?' Chokorypaw coughed again after seaking, causeing her light blue-grey eyes to water.

You're getting closer now

Chikorypaw sat down and tried to clean her fur, to get all of the dirt out. Everyday, Chokorypaw would get the dust and fur out of everybody's nests so that the air would be clearer at night. She usually woke up coughing if she didn't. And when she did; the action of shaking the moss and releasing the dust motes caused her to choke on the air. Maybe she could ask idnightdawn about it when she wasn't too busy. To Chikorypaw, it didn't really matter, but she din't want to iritate her den-mates with her coghing and restlessness.

We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be

_{Music by Breaking Benjamin, Rain}

[x-Ginger-x]

Midnightdawn heard a voice from the apprentices' den and turned around. She noticed Chikorypaw and smiled. "We're looking for a little bit of everything. Do you need something?" She looked the apprentice up and down, and noticed she was coughing. She was also covered in dust. "Give me one second." She trotted to her den, rooted around in the supplies, and extracted a leaf. She brought it out and laid it in front of Chikorypaw. "It's tansy," she explained. "It'll help your cough." She nudged the leaf towards Chikorypaw. While she waited, she washed the scraps of herbs from her pelt, leaving a shiny coat when she finished. She nodded and shuffled her paws, waiting patiently for Chikorypaw to finish.

If only her apprentice would be so prompt. She shook her head. Midnightdawn hadn't seen much of Silentpaw lately, and she was worried. She had mentioned it to Sapphirestar, but Sapphirestar just told her to relax. Silentpaw was an apprentice, and she wandered off a lot on her own. Everything would be fine. She hoped.

[--|Sootie|--]

It's just the same old sights and the same old sounds

Chikorypaw thanked Midnightdawn as she passed her the healing herb. She'd been given tansy for her cough before, bu it had never done anthing for it. She'd had the cough since she was born, and often lost her voice because of it. She ate the leaf anyway, hoping maybe it might take the edge off it this time so that it wouldn't impair her hunt for herbs. As she swallowed, she breathed in deeply, so she would remember the scent when she came to look for it later on.

I want to take my horse and ride him off this merry-go-round

When she finished licking the dust out of her fur, Chikorypaw bent down and bit a mouthful of snow, letting it melt to wash the dryness of the dirt away. She sat up straight and looked across to the clan's medicine cat. She looked worried and distracted. The black and white apprentice uessed it was because of Silentpaw. The medicine cat apprenitce had wandered off a few sun-rises ago, and hadn't been seen since. 'If you're upset or concerned about Silentpaw, you needn't be. She's probably gone looking for different herbs somewhere else, or gone to the Moon Pool. Nothing bad will have happened to someone like her. Anyway I'm ready now, and thanks for the tansy! Chikorypaw finished her sentence with bout of coughing, but tried to straghted up so that Midnightdawn wouldn't notice. She didn't want to be bothering her when she already had so much to deal with. If it got worse though, Chikorypaw would have to tell Midnightdawn how bad it really was.

I won't give in and I won't back down

She stood up, her long black tail dragging it the layer of snow which kept getting thinker every sun-rise. Green-leaf was definetly over now, it would soon be time for the clans to start struggling to try and find prey, herbs and diseased would come. The latter of that list worried Chikorypaw. She knew that she would be the first to go down if Green-cough came. But if it does, then I will fight it until I stop breathing for good. She walked quickly toward the camp exit and once outside, began to pick up her pace until before long, she was running like a rabbit.

I'm going down, down, down, down, down
I ain't going down, down, down, down, down
I'm never going down, down, down, down, down

_{Music by Bon Jovi, Two Story Town}

[[Ridge] of [Sapphire] light]

Her head, though seemingly still heavy with sleep roused itself from it's comfortable position on her paws, and she allowed her eyelids to open and was punished with the dazzling light of noonday. She shut them again and let a yawn escape her lips. She let them open more slowly letting the light invade them much more slowly. She stood and stretched hern body aching with the long night's patrol and the early sleep. She shook the moss from her pelt and groomed down some rougher looking spots. She slipped out of her den just as Midnightdawn and Chickorypaw were headed out. She glanced around before making the decision. She trotted to the edge of camp, and with a mighty heave of her strained muscles propelled herself through the entrance and raced after Midnightdawn and the apprentice. She came up beside the medicinecat and let her breath out, she hadn't realized she had been holding. Her eyes turned to the she-cat beside her and she smiled, sapphire blue orbs dancing with hope and possibility. "GOod afternoon Midnightdawn!" She said dipping her head to her friend. She flicked her ears and nodded to the apprentice. "What are we out looking for so late in the afternoon?" She asked evenly her eyes never leaving the meddie cat beside her.

[x-Ginger-x]

Midnightdawn nodded to the apprentice. "Thanks. I'm sure she'll be okay too, she just has never been gone this long." She frowned, but shook her head. Chikorypaw had tried to hide her cough, but Midnightdawn heard it. She glanced ove at the she-cat, and frowned again. It wasn't just a regular cough. It was something else. She let her mind wander while she led the apprentice through the entrance, that she jumped when Sapphirestar showed up. "Sapphirestar!" She jumped, startled. Dipping her head, she replied, "Chikorypaw and I are looking for herbs. Would you like to join us?" She offered, stopping her paws. She looked her leader up and down, seeing she looked a little worn. She looked around and found the plant she wanted, and snatched a berry off of it. She dropped it in front of Sapphirestar. "Juniper. It'll give you some strength, after your long patrolling." She smiled at her leader, and sat down.

[--|Sootie|--]

You pick me up when I fall down

Chikorypaw stopped as she heard another cat approaching them from the camp. Maybe another warrior or apprentice had decided to join them after all. She stopped and turned around, taking a few steps back so that she was with Midnightdawn. Sapphirestar was waiting with the medicine cat, talking to her as she ate a dark blue berry. Probably reassuring Midnightdan about Silentpaw again, Chikorypaw thought as she stopped a fox-length away. 'That was juniper you just gave to Sapphirestar wasn't it, Midnightdawn? You can give it to nursing queens for strenght and to help produce milk for the kits? Will we need to collect some of them on the way back? And hi Sapphirestar, how was your patrol? Are you camoing hunting for herbs too?'Simply running back to the other members of the patrol had caused Chikorypaw to wheeze, so she was left croacking and whispering when she had spoke to them. Her illness was getting worse and Chikorypaw knew it.

You ring the bell before they count me out

Her black feet were scuffling in the snow as she waited for Midnightdawn to continue with the herblore lesson. Chikorypaw had never thought it before, but knowing about all of the different healing herbs was interesting and complicated. To the young apprentice, Medicine Cats simply spent their days sniffing mouse bile and shifting piles of leaves abou, cooped up in their den. 'Hey, do you think we're might find any chikory? Does that have any healing uses? I always wondered what the plant chikory actually looked like. Have you ever seen it growing in our territory?' Her black and white eaers were twitching as she listened to the prey in the forrest ahead of her, wondering when she'd be hunting again. It had been a while since she'd caught any prey, because she usually broke down into a coughing fit before she reached the prey. It was turning out that she was a really useless addition to the clan. An apprentice who couldn't even hunt.

If I was drowning you would part the sea

She stood up again, ready to head off wherever the herbs were. It wouldn't be too strenuous for her to gather herbs. Once Silentpaw returned, then maybe Chikorypaw wouldn't still be able to help Midnightdawn. Then there would be nothing useful which she could do for Glacier Clan, she might as well curl up and die. I can patrol slowly, that's about it. I wonder if I could fight in an actual battle, or if I'd start coughing and be a nuscience because I was an easy target? Chikorypaw didn't wasn't to be a nuscience to anyone, lest a burden. That was the one thing she feared from her illness; becoming too ill to be any good and just being auseless burden and a worry. Sh'd rater die before it got to that stage.

And risk your own life to rescue me

_{Music by Bon Jovi, Thank You for Loving me}

[x-Ginger-x]

Midnightdawn looked over at Chikorypaw. "Yes to all your questions. You're very smart, you know that?" She replied to the young cat. Thinking, she raced back to her den and fetched another berry, this time dropping it in front of Chikorypaw. "I just remembered. Juniper is used for strength, so it could help with your cough." She nosed it towards her and watched the apprentice with a curious look.


Silentpaw had vanished long ago, and Midnightdawn started to have doubts if she would ever come back. Maybe it was time to look for a new apprentice. As she watched Chikorypaw, she realized her new apprentice could possibly be sitting right in front of her. She had a cough and a wheeze, so it certainly reduced her strength on patrols. But she had a sharp memory and a keen sense of learning. Midnightdawn smiled as she looked down at the apprentice.

[--|Sootie|--]

How many hands? How many hearts?

Chikorypaw smiled and quietly thanked Midnightdawn. She ate the berry, being sure to swallow carefully so not to choke again. It was so hard for Chikorypaw to watch and encourage the over-worked and over-worried medicine cat to keep trying to make her better. There were hardly any known herbs left in the territory which the small black and white apprentice hadn't tried to cure her cough. So far, no result. For the past 10 moons of her life, Chikorypaw had been under the infkuence of some medicinal herb or another. Why Star Clan will no herb cure this cough I am cursed with? She looked up at the fading sun, watching the light slowly disapear, wondering if the same would happen to her.

How many dreams been torn apart?

'I hope that it can give me some extra strength. Thanks Midnightdawn. So can we go now? I'm looking forward to see what I recognise and anything new which I don't know.' Chikorypaw shook her body, trying to free and lingering dust in her pelt, then took a slow deep breath. She breathed out again quickly, feeling the familiar tickling in her throat, not wanting to make Sapphirestar or Midnightdawn suspicious. She would try as hard as she could to make sure they weren't worrying about her. Chikorypaw knew though that sooner or later, Sapphirestar would notice that she never volunteered for hunting patros, or that her menotr never had anything good to say. She was a faliure as an apprenitce, and would never make it to be the warrior she had dreamt of being. Chikorypaw would have the pleasure of watching all of her litter-mates become wariros while she was stuck in the apprenitce den, until by age she was due for the elder's den. It wasn't quite the life she had imagined having, but to Chikorypaw it seemed like the only path available to her.

Enough enough...The time has come to rise back up

_{Music by Bon Jovi, Undivided}

[[Ridge] of [Sapphire] light]

Sapphirestar flicked her long tail and smiled at Midnightdawn. Her ears came forward as the exchange between apprentice and med cat unfolded in front of her. She let her mind wander as she leaned forward her head close to the ground, and ate the berry. She dipped her head to Midnightdawn and then watched as the med cat raced to her den and returned. she knew what the she-cat was thinking before she sat down. She smiled ruefully and looked at Chickorypaw. "Why don't you run ahead and look for marigold and catmint." She said and turned to look at Midnightdawn. There were somethings the pair of them needed to talk about. "Midnightdawn and I need to chat." She said calmly her eyes dancing slightly. There were a few things she knew, and there were some she didn't, but she knew there was one cat who would understand her and her concerns.

((I has a idea))

[x-Ginger-x]

Midnightdawn licked Chikorypaw's ear and smiled. "We'll go now. I hope it does help you, too." She reassured the little cat. "Run along ahead, and let me know, like Sapphirestar says. We want to be ready if someone gets hurt, or if we have Whitecough or Greencough." She called to the apprentice. "And maybe, when we get back, you can help me strip the stalks and put them away?" Midnightdawn liked the energetic apprentice, and thought it would be nice to have the help.

Once Chikorypaw was gone, she turned to Sapphirestar and dipped her head. "Poor Chikorypaw. I've noticed she's not joining many patrols." Her eyes followed the apprentice before turning back to Sapphirestar. "I think it'd be handy if she helped me out in the Medicine Den for a while, make he feel useful." She shook her head. "Enough about that, what do you need to talk to me about?" She asked Sapphirestar.

[[Ridge] of [Sapphire] light]

Sapphirestar watched as the apprentice raced away into the woods on her mission. She turned to look at Midnightdawn, her eyes showing the tiredness of her whole spirit now. 'There are a few topics, of which I must speak, one joyous, and two sad, which would you care to speak on first, my dear medicine cat?" She asked her eyes speaking of her heart's pain. She knew that Midnightdawn knew of her love of Taintedfaith, and so she knew too, that the medicine cat would understand the pain in declaring the deputy dead, or deserted. She shook her head for a moment closing her eyes to the horror of what her mate could have done. Never again would she fall in love. She sighed and looked at the med cat waiting for her answer. She needed to speak on Silentpaw's disappearance. She had her theories about why both Taintedfaith and Silentpaw had gone missing but she would leave out her theories...because they wouldn't matter now anyway.

[r a v e n]]*]

[Might I make a mighty reappearance with Tainty? I know I've been away for awhile, and I'll understand if you give Deputy away. I apologize for my absence... my illness has gotten worse for a few months, which meant lots of sleep, hospital visits, and no laptop for me. :/]

[x-Ginger-x]

Midnightdawn noticed the distress coming off her leader. Her worries could wait. She was not as distressed as Sapphirestar. "No, you speak first." She dipped her head and waited for her to speak.

As she waited, she flicked her ears, thinking about Taintedfaith. The deputy had been gone a while. What could have happened to him to make him leave Sapphirestar and the Clan? She shook her head, shaking away the thoughts. He would never abandon the Clan without reason. Neither would Silentpaw.

[r a v e n]]*]

[tainted]

His paws felt so very heavy as they almost dragged across the ground. His body ached from the biting agony that were the bleeding wounds. He couldn't believe what had happened, what had been lost. And what would they say about his disappearance... And Silentpaw's? His heart clenched sharply as he thought of her, but he kept going. There was nothing he could do now. She had either bee killed, or taken. And at the moment, he didn't want to think about that. Shaking that thought off, he winced again. Damnit. Why hadn't he stopped anywhere to cleanse his own wounds? Because he was stubborn, and just wanted to go to somewhere familiar. But as he padded closer towards the camp, his vision kept dimming, making him have to force his eyes to remain open. "Almost there...just a few steps more..."

The left side of his head was throbbing as he finally steppin into the camp, right eye flicking around the clearing until he landed on the one he was looking for. Taintedfaith let out a cry of triumphant, which turned into a mangled one as he took another step forwards. He no longer held control over his paws as they carried him towards Sapphirestar, and Midnghtdawn. The coffee-colored male stopped in front of the leader and medicine cat, panting slightly as he looked at them as he looked at them through his good eye. "Sapphirestar..."